I bought a bookshelf so I can get some of the books and junk out of my closet. I found a jewellery box in the closet between a stack of old bills. It struck me as vaguely familiar. I shook it and there was something inside. I opened it and there was a brand new SD card! Heheheheh. 4GB! Sweet.
OH SNAP. I just saw the teaser for Drinky Crow Show!!! Episodes with an S!
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Sunday, November 16, 2008
Bubblegum Fantasy Shit
My unshakable fortitude of positivity and well-being lurched backwards this morning. And bent forward again, coughing up blood. Spatter on the concrete. Carved a smile on my face and said, 'no, it was a wonderful dream.'
It was a pathetic sort of dream in a marshmallowy simple romantic way. It's the sort of dream I have to laugh uncomfortably as I'm telling you to show how much it doesn't mean to me.
I had a dream that I went to the grocery store with Vlad to pick out a cantaloupe (and two peaches, which has less personal meaning, but perhaps more Freudian meaning) - then we went home and ate it together, sitting on a bed. Heh.
I can't be anything but ridiculous, no matter how hard I try. Dreaming of a world where I'm not allergic to cantaloupe and where Vlad likes me.
The only thing keeping me sane is awesome artwork by Alexander and his friends at the Red Bear Dead forums/website. I heart his aesthetic.
Also, SPACED is the best TV show ever. Simon Pegg is a genius.
It was a pathetic sort of dream in a marshmallowy simple romantic way. It's the sort of dream I have to laugh uncomfortably as I'm telling you to show how much it doesn't mean to me.
I had a dream that I went to the grocery store with Vlad to pick out a cantaloupe (and two peaches, which has less personal meaning, but perhaps more Freudian meaning) - then we went home and ate it together, sitting on a bed. Heh.
I can't be anything but ridiculous, no matter how hard I try. Dreaming of a world where I'm not allergic to cantaloupe and where Vlad likes me.
The only thing keeping me sane is awesome artwork by Alexander and his friends at the Red Bear Dead forums/website. I heart his aesthetic.
Also, SPACED is the best TV show ever. Simon Pegg is a genius.
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Wonderful World of Linux
So I've officially switched over to linux. I've never run anything but Windows, all the way back since 3.0.... oh, nostalgia.
The one downside to linux.. I f-ing HATE firefox. HATE it. I can't wait until Google Chrome comes out with the linux-compatible release. Those people need to get off their smarmy bean bag office chairs and make it already!
My life is fantastically boring sometimes.
The one downside to linux.. I f-ing HATE firefox. HATE it. I can't wait until Google Chrome comes out with the linux-compatible release. Those people need to get off their smarmy bean bag office chairs and make it already!
My life is fantastically boring sometimes.
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Diamonds and Perl
So I'm programming Perl for fun... you know what that means. Good Stephanie has won.
I'm changing my major to Bioinformatics. Oh noes my school doesn't have a Bioinformatics program. What ever shall I do~? Blow this popsicle stand.
To be continued...
I bought a book the other day from a store that went out of business. It's an etiquette book written in the 50s. Oh ho ho ho it's sooo hilarious.
For instance:
"It is only human for a man to want his secretary to be neat, attractive, and, if possible, pretty. He has to look at her all day long. But the more attractive she is, the more, for his own and her protection, he must treat her with careful, polite objectivity."
Hehehe. This book is 738 pages long. I picked it up in the store thinking it was either a dictionary or a bible.
"If the family breakfasts weekend mornings in dressing gowns, pajamas, nightgowns, you are free to do so too. But don't take the informality so much to heart that you fail to comb your hair, wash your face and teeth, and generally make yourself attractive. No woman should appear too negligee or with her hair unarranged and her face unmade-up, if she's in the habit of using make-up - and most of us are."
And it goes on and on. Solid gold.
I'm changing my major to Bioinformatics. Oh noes my school doesn't have a Bioinformatics program. What ever shall I do~? Blow this popsicle stand.
To be continued...
I bought a book the other day from a store that went out of business. It's an etiquette book written in the 50s. Oh ho ho ho it's sooo hilarious.
For instance:
"It is only human for a man to want his secretary to be neat, attractive, and, if possible, pretty. He has to look at her all day long. But the more attractive she is, the more, for his own and her protection, he must treat her with careful, polite objectivity."
Hehehe. This book is 738 pages long. I picked it up in the store thinking it was either a dictionary or a bible.
"If the family breakfasts weekend mornings in dressing gowns, pajamas, nightgowns, you are free to do so too. But don't take the informality so much to heart that you fail to comb your hair, wash your face and teeth, and generally make yourself attractive. No woman should appear too negligee or with her hair unarranged and her face unmade-up, if she's in the habit of using make-up - and most of us are."
And it goes on and on. Solid gold.
Saturday, November 8, 2008
Eyes Wide Shut
Alice: Maybe we should be grateful that we survived all our adventures whether they were real or only a dream.
Bill: Are you sure about that?
Alice: Um. Well. Only as sure as I am that the reality of one night alone out of a whole lifetime can never be the whole truth.
Bill: And no dream is ever just a dream.
Alice: Mmm. The important thing is, we're awake now and hopefully for a long time to come.
Bill: Forever.
Alice: Forever?
Bill: Forever.
Alice: Let's not use that word. It frightens me. But I do love you.
..I love when movies complement my thoughts so superbly. Oh, Stanley Kubrick.
Bill: Are you sure about that?
Alice: Um. Well. Only as sure as I am that the reality of one night alone out of a whole lifetime can never be the whole truth.
Bill: And no dream is ever just a dream.
Alice: Mmm. The important thing is, we're awake now and hopefully for a long time to come.
Bill: Forever.
Alice: Forever?
Bill: Forever.
Alice: Let's not use that word. It frightens me. But I do love you.
..I love when movies complement my thoughts so superbly. Oh, Stanley Kubrick.
Friday, November 7, 2008
Delerium Take Me
I figured it out. I know what this feeling is. I'm sane again... or else quite insane again. I'm not the best judge of character.
Anyways...
Things are going to change around here. Oh man, I feel like I just woke up.
I had this dream last night and it made so much sense. I'm worried that Ali's cult leader may have subconsciously brain-washed me. Heheh. But no, I'm fairly sure this is me. I feel more me than I have in years.
I had this dream where I spoke to someone who told me simple things I've always known.... but it's different when you hear these things from someone else, even if it's your own voice inside a dream. I wish I could remember it now more clearly. The environment was very bohemian and victorian at the same time. I can only remember tiny details, but it created a large impression. It was an insane dream.
It made me see how strongly I want to rearrange reality. I think that I haven't been very happy lately. I'm going to fix that. And not just the symptoms.
Anyways...
Things are going to change around here. Oh man, I feel like I just woke up.
I had this dream last night and it made so much sense. I'm worried that Ali's cult leader may have subconsciously brain-washed me. Heheh. But no, I'm fairly sure this is me. I feel more me than I have in years.
I had this dream where I spoke to someone who told me simple things I've always known.... but it's different when you hear these things from someone else, even if it's your own voice inside a dream. I wish I could remember it now more clearly. The environment was very bohemian and victorian at the same time. I can only remember tiny details, but it created a large impression. It was an insane dream.
It made me see how strongly I want to rearrange reality. I think that I haven't been very happy lately. I'm going to fix that. And not just the symptoms.
Thursday, November 6, 2008
How long until this isn't true either?
Ever since that weird yoga naked-day in the mountains, I've been pretty f-ing mellow. Can't decide if I'm happy, sad, or just too mellow to be either one. I'm really carefully watching myself. I don't know why I'm so suspicious. I can't trust that this isn't a calm before a storm.
I think things are going ..well. I feel like I'm waiting for something devastating or possibly magnificent to happen. I poked around on borrowed passwords the other day, putting in a little espionage time. No harm, no foul there. Nothing upsetting. Nothing new. I still miss him, in a more and more abstract way every passing month.
I keep pleading with Delirium to take me. And maybe I have snapped. I feel like driving to LA this weekend...... but I probably won't. Because I'm playing hard to get. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
*sigh*
...
/red wine
I think things are going ..well. I feel like I'm waiting for something devastating or possibly magnificent to happen. I poked around on borrowed passwords the other day, putting in a little espionage time. No harm, no foul there. Nothing upsetting. Nothing new. I still miss him, in a more and more abstract way every passing month.
I keep pleading with Delirium to take me. And maybe I have snapped. I feel like driving to LA this weekend...... but I probably won't. Because I'm playing hard to get. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
*sigh*
...
/red wine
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
Monday, November 3, 2008
Halloween 08
It's been a strange weekend. I finished my Harley Quinn costume (barely) in time for Halloween. It turned out pretty sweet even though I didn't finish the head piece and the diamonds were hot-glued on.
I won first place at a costume contest. Won a free pint glass with infinite refills between 12-1AM, which was sort of a bad prize honestly. It came down to me being able to bring as much liquor to the table in one hour as we could drink. Two friends were downing beer like water, trying to squeeze in as much free victory booze as possible. One of those ended up crashing her bike. She didn't even make it out of the parking lot. Poor kid.
Next day bike-crash-friend and I went to her boyfriend's place in Berkley - which turned out to be pretty wild. The party ended in a broken chair, a broken thermostat, and Sharpie on Dimitri's face. One guy was dressed up like Dave Chapelle's crack-head character with a broken car stereo and white powder on his lips. Funny as hell guy. Pretty too. Left the party early - c'est la vive. I was one of the only people who got his costume, surprisingly. He didn't get mine. Also talked to this guy from the Midwest with crazy messed up teeth, which I stared at intently while he chatted me up. He probably thought I was an asshole. I've been too awkward in public lately - I think I've lost too much weight and too much sleep and my brain doesn't work any more.
Went to sleep that night around 4. Woke up at 11 to meet with Ali and drive back home. Little did Jerry and I know that we would be taking an all-day detour to a nudist hippy commune up north of Napa. Ali and her boyfriend might have joined a cult. Not too sure about that. I played along as best I could, trying my damdest to not mind the nudity part. People say that nudity makes them feel free and childlike.... I do not get that.
Naked in public is never something I will be into. I'm not an exhibitionist on any level. It's funny too because I'm totally comfortable with my body, it isn't that. I simply have no desire to see random people naked and I have no desire for random people to see me naked. I really don't feel like clothing is an imposition of societal pressures. People say that public nudity is not sexual... but I think it's an encroachment upon intimacy if nothing else. Maybe that just shows my disconnect with humanity. I suppose people who feel comfortable with public nudity feel an intimate connection with people in a general sense.
Anyways this place has mineral pools of various temperatures where people hang out. We also did yoga there for what seemed like 3 hours - and clothing was required there, thank God. I really do not want to see naked middle-aged people doing positions like downward dog or happy baby. Haha. The yoga was great. Ali's friend showed us acrobatic tricks afterwards. She let me do one position with her where she laid on her back with her feet in the air and I did a back-bend into her feet. This resulted in her supporting my body by the small of my back with her feet and nothing else. It gave the feeling of suspension, with hands and feet hanging in the air, looking up at the sky. It was quite possibly the greatest sensation I've had in a long time. This was the high part of the trip.
The place was truly beautiful, nestled in the wooded hills and mountains of the Calistoga region. It was raining, which made the place even more strange and ethereal. Overall, it was total culture shock compared with the night before. I feel pretty mellow now, all that yoga really helped my head.
I won first place at a costume contest. Won a free pint glass with infinite refills between 12-1AM, which was sort of a bad prize honestly. It came down to me being able to bring as much liquor to the table in one hour as we could drink. Two friends were downing beer like water, trying to squeeze in as much free victory booze as possible. One of those ended up crashing her bike. She didn't even make it out of the parking lot. Poor kid.
Next day bike-crash-friend and I went to her boyfriend's place in Berkley - which turned out to be pretty wild. The party ended in a broken chair, a broken thermostat, and Sharpie on Dimitri's face. One guy was dressed up like Dave Chapelle's crack-head character with a broken car stereo and white powder on his lips. Funny as hell guy. Pretty too. Left the party early - c'est la vive. I was one of the only people who got his costume, surprisingly. He didn't get mine. Also talked to this guy from the Midwest with crazy messed up teeth, which I stared at intently while he chatted me up. He probably thought I was an asshole. I've been too awkward in public lately - I think I've lost too much weight and too much sleep and my brain doesn't work any more.
Went to sleep that night around 4. Woke up at 11 to meet with Ali and drive back home. Little did Jerry and I know that we would be taking an all-day detour to a nudist hippy commune up north of Napa. Ali and her boyfriend might have joined a cult. Not too sure about that. I played along as best I could, trying my damdest to not mind the nudity part. People say that nudity makes them feel free and childlike.... I do not get that.
Naked in public is never something I will be into. I'm not an exhibitionist on any level. It's funny too because I'm totally comfortable with my body, it isn't that. I simply have no desire to see random people naked and I have no desire for random people to see me naked. I really don't feel like clothing is an imposition of societal pressures. People say that public nudity is not sexual... but I think it's an encroachment upon intimacy if nothing else. Maybe that just shows my disconnect with humanity. I suppose people who feel comfortable with public nudity feel an intimate connection with people in a general sense.
Anyways this place has mineral pools of various temperatures where people hang out. We also did yoga there for what seemed like 3 hours - and clothing was required there, thank God. I really do not want to see naked middle-aged people doing positions like downward dog or happy baby. Haha. The yoga was great. Ali's friend showed us acrobatic tricks afterwards. She let me do one position with her where she laid on her back with her feet in the air and I did a back-bend into her feet. This resulted in her supporting my body by the small of my back with her feet and nothing else. It gave the feeling of suspension, with hands and feet hanging in the air, looking up at the sky. It was quite possibly the greatest sensation I've had in a long time. This was the high part of the trip.
The place was truly beautiful, nestled in the wooded hills and mountains of the Calistoga region. It was raining, which made the place even more strange and ethereal. Overall, it was total culture shock compared with the night before. I feel pretty mellow now, all that yoga really helped my head.
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