Lost Souls

Ted Haggard's been all over the news again. I feel so sorry for this guy. At first I just thought it was one more example of the hypocrisy of the -institution- of church, which does more harm than good. Listening to Ted talk though, it is so sad that he has deluded himself so deeply. He can't accept his own humanity. I feel like, given the option, he would have a total frontal lobotomy and destroy the person he is to destroy the 'evil gay thoughts.' You're gay, dude. It's ok. Sane people would embrace you and love you as a gay man.

At least he can accept that he has 'homosexual attachments' but he's trying to -fix- the -problem-. It's just sad. Kiss a man, Ted. You kiss him, and you like it! It's not a sin. Kissing your wife while you imagine she's a sexy guy - that's way worse. Poor confused man.

Who's gonna start that 'love yourself and everyone else' religion? Wait they already have those? But they're hypocritical and corrupt? Oh noes, people never learn.

Sanity Aside,

I rarely post when I'm feeling regular, run of the mill, slightly anti-social but otherwise normal. I thought it might be a good idea because I'd rather be manic depressive rather than full on depressive. Hehe.

I just realized that I really like the people I work with. I also realized I've used the word 'I' at least 17 times already. I'm self-centered. And I hate you. Moving on. I like the fact that I have 1 Texan to relate to and everyone else in my lab is from an Asian country, primarily China. Despite the fact that most people in the lab speak Mandarin, the only words I've learned are 'thank you' and 'white person'. I only remember 'white person' because it's really similar to the japanese word. They don't call me that or nothin'. =]

Chinese New Year happened on monday. Year of the Ox. Year of the Rat is my year, but we're all about trickery and lazing about, so maybe the change is good.

There's a news story on TV about cookies that (sarcastic gasp) may have been made with dough contaminated with salmonella.... oh my god. they are interviewing students who ate peanut butter cookies for their reactions.... COOKING the cookies would kill any salmonella living in the dough, that's why you cook chicken before you eat it. WTF? Yesterday the same news show ran a story about Botox helping unemployed people get jobs by being more attractive and confident on interviews. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!! The news is stupid! I'm yelling at the TV again...

Drawring

Just a little noodling around with the Wacom. Figuring out how to use it and whatnot.

Putting the damn thing to good use

I got a Wacom tablet for christmas. And I've been too intimidated by it's rugged sexiness to do anything with it except stare. But I finally hooked it up and messed around in Photoshop.

A few months ago I had insomnia and drew 5 pictures in an hour or so describing the past 5 years of my love life. I just spent the last 2 hours redo-ing them digitally... The last one I actually like. The hair is neat. I heart Wacom...







Little things to note. In the second picture I completely forgot to draw the sawed off wings in the background - I'll probably redo it later. And yes, that is an eyeball. In the original fifth image, I didn't look so sad, more wary. I actually had a really hard time making the first image look happy. I redrew the face so many times - I realize the eyes are ridiculously wide set, but they look happy at least.

Madness Aside,

My little brother lost his first tooth this evening while he was eating bacon. My dad heard something fall with a 'clink' on the hardwood floor. The tooth in question had been loose for a few weeks, so he asked "Hey Buddy, did your tooth just fall out there?" Dylan looks down at the floor and considers for a second. "No. That's a piece of bacon." He goes back to chewing his bacon. While he's speaking the absence of tooth is obvious so my dad continues. "No Dylan feel your teeth, there's one missing." Dylan feels the gap and furrows his brow. Without missing a beat, he shrugs, "Well I didn't need it anymore." He goes back to chewing.

Hahaha priceless. My parents tried to get him excited about the tooth fairy, but Dylan finds the idea of mystical ladies creeping into his room far-fetched. Eventually he just told them, "Stop it, the tooth fairy is just you guys."

I think he's just too spoiled. I played dumb for years thinking I'd get more presents at Christmas. He already knows he gets everything he wants without all the nonsense.

Crickets

You know that sound in Black Snake Moan? When Christina Ricci gets all nutty. I think of that sound when Mr. Hyde starts convincing Dr. Hyde to go away for a while. My moral fibers are shredding again. The weight of my sanity is too much for them. Morals or sanity?

My values are shifting. I can feel the unbalance. I want to fuck things up.

I want to be that demure innocent lady in powder blue with unsullied gloves who can wait with large moist eyes until someone comes riding on a white horse from Never-Happening Land. The high priestess.

But my card is the Queen of Swords. And I'm speaking in Tarot now. Anyways. I'm going to have a little fun. My teeth are too sharp.

I was very honest with someone last night who I don't normally take seriously and I was shocked by how honest he was in return. Something so simple that I never realized. I'm very rarely serious - actually serious with every-day humans, 'friends' and 'acquaintances'. These strange creatures respond so differently to serious conversation as opposed to sex jokes or, even worse, silence and mumbling.

And I'm quite good at silence and mumbling. I can hold my own at lewd jokes as well. Truth and reality aren't difficult for me, they just seem less entertaining. Entertainment is a very high priority of mine, perhaps the highest.