Not a Poetry Metaphore

As a rule, I try not to correct people unless I am close to them - and only because I don't want them to sound stupid and get made fun of later. At a friend's house tonight, I met said friend's new boyfriend. He said something so wrong, my eyelid twitched a little but I couldn't say anything because I'd only just met this guy.

"Greek and Russian are really similar languages. They even share an alphabet. Yeah, it's acrylic."

/twitch .... can't. paint. with. Russian alphabet, which is totally different from Greek... aaaaaaaah. No one else noticed how wrong this statement was either. Or maybe they were just being polite as me. It wouldn't be so bad but he went on to talk about how good he was at remembering useless knowledge and trivia. Sort of smug about it.

Dimitri was in the bathroom too. I don't think he would've let the Greek comment slide. I think that would have been a 'fail' to that Greek test we were talking about.

Lion Tamer

Never thought bringing a lamb to a slaughterhouse could tame a lion. What I can only perceive as innocence and trust and sincerity got the best of me. Just like that. In one night.

Little toy, became something more. Softening the edges and dull pains. Make my heart race. I apologize if I make you faint. Touch my skin like it's glass, delicate or dangerous. Not easily forgettable.

Self Diagnosis

After hearing about Russell Brand's alleged 'sex addiction' I had to do some internet research to see whether or not it sounded like a publicity stunt or a real medical problem. And the descriptions written by the sexually repressed got me giggling...

"The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Psychiatric Disorders, Volume Four describes sex addiction, under the category “Sexual Disorders Not Otherwise Specified,” as “distress about a pattern of repeated sexual relationships involving a succession of lovers who are experienced by the individual only as things to be used.”

"Increasing sexual provocation in our society has spawned an increase in the number of individuals engaging in a variety of unusual or illicit sexual practices, such as phone sex, the use of escort services, and computer pornography. More of these individuals and their partners are seeking help."

HAHAHAHAHAHA uh oh. I've got another self diagnosis!

I love that they lump phone sex and internet porn with prostitution...

Oh my god, even better. The same website has a "top 10 myths about masturbation" and it is hilarious.

#7 Do Kellog's cornflakes make you not want to masturbate?

"Mr. Kellogg thought sex was the ultimate abomination and remained celibate even in marriage. Masturbation was the worst sin imaginable to him. He believed it led to leprosy, tuberculosis, heart disease, epilepsy, dimness of vision, insanity, idiocy, and death. He also preached that masturbation led to bashfulness in some people, unnatural boldness in others, a fondness for spicy foods, round shoulders, and acne."

HAHAHAHHAAH round shoulders wtf?

Wearing Cheshire

I just watched Russell Brand's New York stand-up special on Comedy Central. Sexy sexy man.

He inspires me to be more of an outrageous narcissistic megalomaniac than I already am. And without feeling embarrassed about it later.

"No I'm purely a fan [of futbol], I have no sporting ability. The only things I'm good at which involve exercise and sweating necessarily end in orgasm." The words are not so funny as the absolute sincerity in which he delivers them. When are you touring the balmy California coast, love?

Holy shit I'm making art tonight on a canvas! Sadly, I'm inspired by looming deadlines which culminate in next tuesday and will be a total shit storm.

Torrid Love Affairs with Cities

I just got back from Hong Kong. Where do I sign to expatriate? I fell in love with that country, it had me at the MTR (subway). I'm home now and I haven't even unpacked from New Orleans yet. Oh man. I've never travelled this much in such a short period of time. Just to add to the strangeness of my recent life.

Came home to another mix "tape" CD taped to my door. How come this doesn't feel as wrong as it is?

The fracture in my heart finally splintered in two and divided reason from thought. But I never stop dreaming about that perfect life I saw painted inside my head. In reds and blues. 'And everyone's just a different shade of you.' -- 'Suicide Machine' by Hum.

I've been awake since 2AM... a little jet-lagged.

Ni Hao

I found out today that I'm going to Hong Kong tomorrow for work.

Oh snap.

It sucks. All the language CDs and 99% of phrasebooks at Borders are for Mandarin. There were absolutely zero CDs for Cantonese. So I'll have to be a stupid gwai lao and bank on the rumor that "everyone" in Hong Kong speaks english. I'm traveling on my own too and meeting people at the hotel there. Hahaha. This is going to be fun. It's a good thing I'm sagittarius. I live for this kind of thing.

I got a The Knife album taped to my door today from my not-so-secret admirer. Life has never been so strange.