Ever since that weird yoga naked-day in the mountains, I've been pretty f-ing mellow. Can't decide if I'm happy, sad, or just too mellow to be either one. I'm really carefully watching myself. I don't know why I'm so suspicious. I can't trust that this isn't a calm before a storm.
I think things are going ..well. I feel like I'm waiting for something devastating or possibly magnificent to happen. I poked around on borrowed passwords the other day, putting in a little espionage time. No harm, no foul there. Nothing upsetting. Nothing new. I still miss him, in a more and more abstract way every passing month.
I keep pleading with Delirium to take me. And maybe I have snapped. I feel like driving to LA this weekend...... but I probably won't. Because I'm playing hard to get. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
*sigh*
...
/red wine
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