When moving from one coast of the country to the other, step one is to not get in a relationship with anyone in the place you are departing from....

...

What's step two?

I had an overwhelming sense of existential despair today... Or yesterday, or maybe in a dream I had last night. I felt really disconnected today even when I was rescued earlier from a stranger knocking on my door by a lovely telephone call and a homemade meal. I think I'm feeling the immediacy of leaving everything behind before I'm through. Like a caged animal I'm already scanning for a way out.

But I want to move to New York right? If I had only followed the steps in order...

And when I said "I want your ugly, I want your disease" I bet he didn't expect Helicobacter pylori. Hehehe oh it is a disaster. A beautiful disaster that I cannot quit. I need this.

I really really need this. It feels like home.